Trying to meet new people, online or in person, can be stressful, daunting, and full of rejection. When you come across someone you find hot as hell, that intimidation factor ratchets up even higher, especially if you think they’re hotter than you or out of your league.

The reality is that we’re all attracted to different people for different reasons. The hot people of the world aren’t all mean or intimidating, and everyone is sexy and amazing to the right person. So if you think you can’t talk to someone because they’re too attractive, think again.

But if you want to do it without feeling awkward AF (or at least a little less awkward), try these tips.

Focus Less On Their Hotness

There’s nothing wrong with complimenting someone, but starting off with, “You’re hot!” isn’t going to get you very far. Some women hear it all the time as a way to start a conversation, so it’s not memorable and clearly requires no effort from you. You might get a polite “thank you” but if you can’t follow it up with something genuine or interesting, you’re dead in the water. And if that’s all you ever say, you come across as creepy.

So yes, compliment the pic they just posted, if you think they look good, and yes, you can mention their appearance. But keep it real. “Your eyes are gorgeous!” or “I love your smile” is nice. Once you’ve said that, move onto the next topic. Focusing on someone’s appearance can be weird for some and annoying for others. Either way, you’re not going to get very far.

Ask Questions and Show Interest

If you’ve matched with someone online, you’ve got a ton of information at your fingertips. Go look at the pictures they’ve posted (which is how you decided they were hot in the first place). Read their profile. Check out whatever they’ve shared publicly. Use that information to ask questions and show some interest in them as a person — not just because they’re sexy as hell.

No matter what someone looks like, we all want to meet someone who is genuinely interested in us as an individual. Guys, make sure your questions aren’t too personal or invasive at first. You don’t need to know where they live or work, unless you want to look like a stalker. Ask what kind of work they do or what they’re studying in school. Use the cues from their profile to show your curiosity about who they are.

Be Yourself

“Yourself” might be kind of shy and dorky with a love of video games and pizza. No shame. But there is more to you than that. When you’re willing to let the real you shine through, you get more attention than you realize. Everyone who’s doing this online dating thing has come across their share of people pretending to be someone they’re not. Authenticity is in short supply, so when we see it, we’re almost instantly curious.

Meeting someone you want to date (long-term or not) or even someone you want to hookup with for a night of fun can take some effort. But if you have to pretend to be something you’re not just to get some attention, it won’t end well. Eventually you’ll be found out, and it’ll explode in your face. It’s always better to just be yourself and focus on the people who appreciate you.

Walk Away When They’re Not Interested

When you pursue someone who’s clearly not interested, everything you do and say sounds and feels a bit desperate after a while. Despite your best efforts, the other person may simply not be interested in you. That’s not your fault or their fault. Just because you’re attracted to someone doesn’t mean it’ll work out.

Ask a question. Respond to something on their timeline. Send a flirty smile or admit to your nerdy loves. Basically, show that you’re interested first. If they’re not reciprocating and chatting with you, move on and leave them alone. They’re not the last hottie on the planet and need your lust and attention to repopulate Earth — so stop acting like it. You both deserve someone you’re into who’s into you, too.

Don’t let yourself be intimidated by someone’s hotness. For all you know, they have an annoying voice or a really bad habit that might drive you crazy. Everyone’s a little bit weird and awkward on some level. Be yourself, stay curious, and try to start a conversation. If it doesn’t go anywhere, move on. And if it does, enjoy the moment and see where it takes you.