When it comes to long distance relationships, physical intimacy can sometimes feel non-existent. Sure, the anticipation of your next hook-up might be enough to keep you going in the weeks and months which separate you, but wouldn’t it be nice if your sex was on fire, regardless of physical proximity?

As a long-distance connoisseur – with most of my dating life being with partners in different time zones – there’s only so much Skype sex and masturbation you can handle before the frustration of the lack of normalcy in your sex life kicks in. 

Whether you’re in a new LDR or you’re a veteran, coming up with ways to keep your sex life spicy can be somewhat of a drag that many couples in GCRs (geographically close relationships, for all those in GCRs reading!) never experience. And, coincidentally, that fact alone can make LDRs even harder. Sitting down with your friends who only ever fuck when the mood takes them and talking about the logistical nightmare of your romantic escapades doesn’t exactly make for a conversation filled with empathy or, more importantly, advice!

Generally speaking, those in LDRs have to be more creative than those in GCRs. They have to be more open. They have to be more honest. And they have to be more determined to make it work.

But when you’ve run out of ideas, what do you do? Here are eight tips to help you do it long distance and keep your sex life hot!

Make A Safe Space

Long distance relationships come with the added pressure to make things work, which can unfortunately also be their downfall. Making sure you have an open conversation about sex; a promise about not putting too much pressure on this side of your relationship combined with the promise that you’ll always make an effort can go a long way. But further to that, it’s important that you agree to keep the lines of communication open and create a safe space for sharing fantasies or feelings without judgement.

Couples in long distance relationships often have to be more experimental to keep things interesting, and that can be really daunting for some. So, make sure that you make communicating top priority in your long distance sex life.

Make Time

We’ve all got a lot going on in life. It’s a common complaint of all relationships that just being too damn busy can have an impact on libido. And whilst those in GCRs can forego sex for a little without a drastic effect on their relationship, this behavior can be particularly damaging for LDRs. Getting into the habit of not doing it because you’re too busy can turn sexless weeks into sexless months and put you at risk of breaking one of the important bonds which makes your LDR work. So, this tip is simple: schedule in your sexy time!

Create an Alter Ego

Ok, let’s take it up a notch. As much as you love one another, bringing someone else into your sex-life can be an exciting trick to heat things up – especially when that someone else is you! Create an alter ego (or a few) and play in character. You could even set up a separate email account so you can keep your persona separate from real-you time! This is particularly useful for those who may not have done the Skype sex or fantasy sharing thing before: by portraying someone else, you can ease into getting comfortable with your inner naughtiness.

Sex Games

Literally, any game can be turned into a sexual adventure. Scrabble? Spell out sexy words. Jenga? Write sexy instructions on each piece. Whatever the game, just make up some rules and off you go! Or, you can make up your own game. This is where your creativity will be put to the test, but if you come up with your own game, the possibilities for long distance passion are endless.

Get Playful

Sex toys have long been the savior of long distance couples. But over recent years, technology has bestowed a whole new era on LDRs, bringing couples physically close from afar. With the market of partner-controlled sex toys, couples are put in the driver’s seat of their partner’s sexual satisfaction. And with the world of VR becoming more and more advanced, things are certainly looking bright for the future of long distance intimacy.

Silent Skype

Skype is great for long distance mutual masturbation, but sometimes, you don’t need to say a word. Agree not to speak during your next Skype call and let the fun begin. Slowly remove each item of clothing, tease your other half in some sexy poses, then let your hands caress your most intimate parts. When you’ve finished, blow a kiss and end the call.

Get Ready for a Special Delivery

There’s nothing better than receiving a gift to let you know that your partner is thinking of you. So, why not put a sexy spin on your special delivery? From sexy lingerie to handmade sexy gifts, sending your partner regular packages can really set your sex life on fire. The anticipation of waiting for the package, combined with the excitement of getting to use whatever’s in the box will at a whole new dynamic to your long distance sex life.

Long Distance Date Night

Now, for most of us, we’d prefer a little build up to the main event, rather than just diving in. And whilst that isn’t always possible, especially in LDRs, it’s not something that you should completely dismiss. Set up a long distance date night: set the scene at your respective homes, order the same take-out food, put on the same movie, all whilst FaceTiming or Skyping. Then, at the end of the night, do what comes naturally.

Let’s face it, long distance relationships are hard, however you spin them. But dwelling on the difficulties of your disadvantaged circumstances is a sure-fire way to push you towards a break-up. And with one of the biggest obstacles (physical distance), hindering one of the most important aspects of your relationship (intimacy), it’s easy to see why many LDRs don’t survive.

Whatever you do, remember these three things: be creative, make an effort and keep it fun!