Spend any time on the internet, and you’ve seen “LGBTQ” or some version of it, right? You know it’s about sex and has something to do with Pride Month, but after that it might get a bit fuzzy. Straight, gay, and lesbian — most people feel like they have a good understanding of the “basics” of sexuality. But what are those other letters for and why does the acronym keep growing?

Heterosexuality may be the majority (at least for now) but it doesn’t have to be “normal.” Because, truly, there is no one right way to experience sex and sexual attraction. Even straight people aren’t always completely straight. To understand “LGBTQIA+” is to understand that sexuality exists on a spectrum, and we don’t all fit into neat categories.

So yes, you’re probably familiar with LGBT and even LGBTQ. But as people feel more comfortable expressing their sexuality and learning about it, the community grows. If you’re feeling a little lost, here’s what it all means.

Lesbian and Gay (LG)

Lesbians are people who identify as female and are attracted to other people who identify as female. While this often means both partners have a vulva, it’s not a requirement.

People who identify as male and are attracted only to other people who identify as male are gay. Although “gay” has been and continues to be used to encompass all homosexual people, it’s most associated with men.

Bisexual (B)

The binary (meaning two) language of “bisexual” means that typically (but not always) a person who identifies as one gender (male or female) is sexually attracted to people of both genders. But there aren’t just two genders. Some people prefer pansexual in order to encompass attraction to any gender. This doesn’t mean someone who’s bi or pan is sexually attracted to everyone they meet, though.

Transgender (T)

Transgender or trans describes people who do not identify with the gender they were assigned at birth. They may or may not undergo a physical transformation (with medication or surgery) to alter their body. You will most likely see the terms trans woman or trans man used. It is also acceptable (and right) to simply refer to trans people as men or women, based on their gender identity. It’s not okay to refer to them by a previous name or gender or to ask if they’ve had surgery.

Note: The alternate to transgender is cisgender such as cis woman and cis man. This refers to people who identify with the gender they were assigned at birth. Example: I have a vulva and identify as a woman so I am a cis woman.

Queer or Questioning (Q)

I confess that Q for “questioning”  instead of queer was new to me. Questioning typically means that the person is still figuring out their sexuality and/or gender. Queer, though, doesn’t have one simple definition and is often inherently personal to whoever chooses the label.

Queer people don’t typically fall under the “easy” definitions or labels of heterosexual or gay/lesbian. They may not be strictly cisgender but don’t identify as transgender either. A queer person may not consider themselves bisexual but something more. When someone refers to themselves as queer, they are, even if they’re not like other queer people you know.

Intersex (I)

A person who is intersex is born with reproductive anatomy that doesn’t neatly fit into one category or another. Sometimes this shows up at birth and sometimes it’s figured out during puberty. Until recently (and it happens even now), doctors would try to “decide” what gender the person should be at birth based on their genitals. And picking incorrectly could lead to confusion and problems for those people.

Now it’s more common for doctors and parents to allow a child to mature and let them decide what gender they identify with. Even so, a person who is intersex doesn’t always get surgery or identify with a single gender. Some people who are intersex identify with the LGBTQIA+ community and some do not.

Asexual (A)

You might hear the “A” referred to as “allies” but this is a controversial opinion. It definitely stands for asexuality so lets start there first. Asexuality means that a person feels no sexual attraction to others. That might mean never and it might mean they only feel sexual attraction under very specific circumstances. This doesn’t mean they don’t have sex with other people or form romantic relationships. It’s not about what they do, but how they feel.

As for the “allies” part, that refers to straight people. Allies are needed to help amplify LGBTQIA+ voices and speak out against what bigots say and do. But being an ally isn’t about a sexual preference or gender, and we don’t require legal protection from discrimination like the LGBTQIA+ community does.

Should we be allies? Yes! Love is love, and everyone should be able to express their sexuality and gender in the way that fits them best. But do we need a spot in the umbrella? Probably not.

What About the Plus Sign? (+)

Our understanding of sexuality and gender is constantly evolving. The “+” indicates anyone else who isn’t straight or cisgender but doesn’t neatly fall into any other category. Some people use the plus for polyamory, gender non-conforming, pansexuality, non-binary, and other identifications. Ultimately, it offers more space for inclusion and leaves no one out.