The idea of phone sex is often better than the reality. In your imagination, you’re smooth and say all the right things. Your partner can’t get enough of it, and you both have a good time. But in reality, you’re positive you’ll sound clueless and not at all sexy. Sometimes you stutter and um your way through the hole thing. Whether you’re dialing up chat lines or having phone sex with a partner, you don’t have to feel awkward AF.

Try these tips for better phone sex instead.

Get Comfortable

The first step is reduce as much awkwardness as possible before you make the call, so get comfortable. Take off all your clothes and climb into bed. Wrap yourself in a snuggie and lay down on the couch. Whatever you need to do to get comfortable, do it. No judgement here.  Make sure you’re completely alone and won’t get caught by a roommate or someone. The more comfortable your body is, the more the rest of you can relax.

Get Turned On Before You Call

If you want to find the right words to say for the sexiest reaction, get the rest of you in the mood first. That’s right, do a little pre-call warm-up. Sext with your partner and type the things you want to talk about. Watch some porn or scroll through the pervy side of Tumblr. Read or listen to erotica. Whatever gets you worked up, spend time enjoying it. You’ll be more at ease when you call, and you may even know exactly what you want to talk about.

Segue With Your Tone

One moment you’re chatting about work or the weather, and the next, you’re trying to get sexy and steamy over the phone. That part can feel weird and pull you out of the mood. Use the tone of your voice to make the transition. Drop your voice an octave. Whisper or sigh (in a sexy way) to show you’re ready for something less mundane. During a pause in the conversation say, “Can I tell you something?” and when they say yes (consent!), tell them something sexy and flirty.

Listen to Them

Not sure what to say next? Start listening. Phone sex doesn’t have to be a one-way session unless that’s what you both want. Let them tell you something intimate. You’re still participating and eventually they’ll say something that makes you want to respond. At that point, you can take over and use your voice and imagination to get them turned on. And don’t get weirded out by the pauses in conversation. Let the moment flow naturally between talking and listening.

Confess a Sexy Thought

Not sure how to start the conversation? Confess a sexual fantasy. Tell them what you want to do with and to them. Say “There’s something I want to tell you but I’m nervous…” Do it in a suggestive whisper. You’re inviting them to encourage you to confess your naughty secret. From there, the conversation can begin, and there’s no telling which direction it will go. You can even make a game of it. Each of you can confess a sexy secret. That might be all you do, or you may hear a confession that you want to take a little further over the phone.

Share a Sexy Memory

If you’re talking to someone you know and have been intimate with in the past, another easy way to begin the conversation is to share a sexy memory. Start with “I remember that time we…” and then fill in the details, say what you’d do this time, or what you loved most about it. Encourage your partner to do the same. You can relive the moments or, like sexy confessions, trade memories back and forth until you find one you want to relive on the phone.

Try Roleplay

Roleplay might be cliche but it works. When sharing what you like or want feels too awkward, pretending to be someone else can get you out of your head. It’s not you that wants to rim your partner’s ass or suck their toes. It’s the character. Pretending to be someone else can make the moment feel a little less personal but still give you room to share your sexiest fantasies. This is also a good way to explore fantasies you may not be ready to try in real life and see how they feel with plenty of distance between you and the other person.

Take the Pressure Off Yourself

Once you have phone sex a couple of times, it gets easier. The awkwardness goes away, and it becomes another fun thing you do. When you do it with your partner, remember that they already like you, even when you’re a dork. This might make them like you more, especially if you can laugh at yourself. When you call up a chat line, remind yourself that you don’t have to talk to this person ever again. If it doesn’t work, you can always talk to someone different next time.