Lube isn’t a dirty word, and it shouldn’t be a shameful secret. If you already knew that, you’re ahead of the game and probably have good sex more often than not. But if you think you’ll never need lube or only “certain” people need it, think again. You’re missing out on another side to sex, and it’s not doing you any favors.

There’s plenty you need to know about personal lubricant and its place in your sex life.

Buy It Before You Need It

In general, it’s not a bad idea to have lube in a drawer somewhere. The two types you’ll want to get are silicone-based and water-based lubes. Why should you buy it now? Because by the time you need it, it’ll be too late. You’ll be high and (literally) dry with nothing to help you.

Yes, you can buy your lube from online sex toy shops or in-person adult stores. But lube is so common you can also buy it at CVS, Walgreens, Walmart, Target, or the grocery store. Your brand choices are limited when you go big box, but sometimes it’s better than nothing.

Lube Isn’t Just for Penis-in-Vagina Sex

If you think of “sex” and all you imagine is a penis and a vagina, welcome to a whole new world. Sex means a lot of things to a lot of people, and it isn’t just a penis and a vagina getting together like, “Heeeey!” There are multiple ways to have sex, and there are multiple uses for lube.

• Anything anal requires lube because friction is not your friend during butt stuff.
• You can use lube during masturbation (better than lotion or soap, for sure).
• When you use sex toys, lube is a good idea. Self-lubricating toys don’t always add enough, and sometimes you need lube to make a cock ring or sleeve more comfortable.

Needing Lube Doesn’t Mean What You Think It Does

If you’re having sex with someone who has a vulva, you probably expect them to get wet, especially if you pull out all your foreplay skills. They can be into it and not get wet. Your partner might be begging you to fuck them hard and their body might not cooperate. This doesn’t mean they’re frigid or too old for sex. It only means one thing.

They need lube.

That’s it. It doesn’t mean anything other than that. So what should you do? Apply lube! Let the bottle do the work and then get down to business together. As long as you’re both still into it, vaginal dryness can be just a blip on the moment.

Not All Lubes are the Same

At the top I mentioned water-based lube and silicone lube. There are also hybrid lubes and all-natural lubes, plus flavored lubes and scented lubes. So which kind should you use? It depends.

• Water-based lubes are good for silicone, rubber, and jelly sex toys.
• Silicone lubes work well with metal, glass, and hard ABS plastic sex toys.
• Hybrid lubes tend to work with silicone toy, but check the instructions first.
• People with sensitive skin may want to read the ingredients to prevent a bad reaction.
• Nothing with actual sugar should be used on a vagina — unless you like yeast infections.
• Some brands are thick and some brands are watery.
• Any lube that heats up or is meant to add “spice” has the potential to cause real pain, so be careful.
• If you use flavored lube, a little goes a long way. Too much, and you might end up never wanting to taste strawberry-flavored anything ever again.

Yes, You Can Use Lube with Condoms

Some condoms come lubricated. You tear open the package (carefully!), slip on the condom, and slide in deep. It’s a perfect system. But not all condoms include lube. People worry they can’t use lube on a latex condom. You can’t use silicone-based lube as the friction during penetration could create tears in your condom. But you can use water-based lube. Condoms don’t have to be a miserable experience (in terms of unwanted friction) if you’ve got lube.

If you’re using dental dams for oral sex or anal rimming, you should use lube, just in a different way. Instead of reducing friction, use it as a barrier between your partner’s skin and the dam. This will keep it from breaking while you’re eating, sucking, licking, slurping, and basically having a damn good time. When in doubt, use water-based lube, but read the package. If silicone lube is safe for the brand you’ve got, you’re good to go.

Lube should be a staple of every sexually active person’s nightstand. Right next to your stroker or vibrator and easier to reach than your old retainer. There’s nothing to be ashamed of and needing lube doesn’t “say” anything about you other than that you’re prepared for whatever sexy thing happens. You’re like a Sex Ranger, prepared for anything with your trusty lube at your side. Or something like that.