First of all, let’s stop calling it “butt stuff” and pretend we’re mature adults. You can call it anal, anal sex, anal play, or something else, but leave “butt stuff” out of it — at least for now. If the idea of it makes you cringe all over, ask yourself why.

Some people truly don’t enjoy anal play of any kind. Others, though, wonder if it means there’s something wrong with them. The short and simple answer is that enjoying anal sex, in any form, is totally normal.

Curious but not quite convinced? Here’s what you need to know about anal sex and pleasure.

It Feels Really Damn Good

Okay, so not everything feels good for everyone, but a lot of people really like anal. If you’ve ever had a partner who put a finger on your butt during a blowjob or handjob, and it felt good, you’re probably one of them. Maybe you heard about prostate massage and the possibility of multiple orgasms and thought it sounded interesting. Why? Because coming more than once would feel amazing, wouldn’t it?

Yes, anal feels good for those who like it, and you can enjoy it in a lot of different ways. Stroking your bumhole with a fingertip is one way. Sticking a finger or sex toy in your butt is another. Rimming — have your butt licked and tongued — is yet another option. Your butt doesn’t usually get a lot of attention, and there are nerve-endings back there that, when stimulated, can feel AH-MAY-ZING!

Anal Isn’t a “Gay Thing”

Do a lot of gay men enjoy anal sex, play, and penetration? Of course they do. But it’s not a gay thing. It’s a pleasure thing. Think about it. If only gay guys did it, how could women enjoy it or non-binary partners or queer people or transgender men and women? Exactly, they couldn’t. But they do, because it’s a people thing and a pleasure thing. Your sexuality doesn’t enter into it at all.

You can be pegged (anal penetration with a strap-on and dildo) by your partner, and you’ll still identify as heterosexual. Maybe you play with your own butt while you masturbate. When you’re done, you’re obviously still straight. Let go of the stigma. Not just because it’s harmful to you and your pleasure, but also because it’s not cool for everyone else out there who might be gay. When you say, “That’s gay” you make it sound like being gay is a bad thing…and it definitely isn’t.

You’ve Got So Many Options

I mentioned this earlier, but it’s worth repeating. Anal sex happens in so many ways that even if all you enjoy is one small part that still counts as liking anal. But if you’re still new to the idea, you might not know what all you can try. Oh anal, let us count the ways…

• Rubbing your anus externally
• Sticking a finger in your butt during masturbation
• Having your partner stick their finger in your butt
• Rimming
• Pegging
• Inserting a butt plug
• Prostate massage with your hand
• Prostate massage with a sex toy
• Prostate massage with a vibrating sex toy (yes, really, that’s a thing, and it could blow your damn mind)
• External prostate massage — while not technically anal play, it’s kind of close. Your taint (aka your perineum) gets the action instead of your anus
• Anal penetration with a sex toy during masturbation

Really, the possibilities are endless, and there’s no right or wrong way to try anal sex or enjoy it.

Sexual Pleasure is Natural

Maybe you’ve heard all your life that you’re only supposed to like a certain “kind” of sex. You may have hooked up with or dated people who looked at you funny when you suggested something kinky. It’s hard to overcome the stigmas of what many people think of as “normal.” You’re not alone in that.

But when you start wondering about this anal sex thing, and if you should give it a try, remember this: Sexual pleasure, in whatever legal and consensual form it takes, is natural. Like a finger up your butt? Natural. Wish your girlfriend would fuck you with a giant dildo? Natural. Have some seriously sexy fantasies that don’t involve anything you’ve ever done with anyone ever before? Still natural.

If you’re not into anal because it doesn’t appeal to you or feel good, that’s cool. We all get to have our personal preferences. But if you’ve avoided it because you think there’s something wrong with “butt stuff,” it’s time to rethink what you believe to be true.