Much like watching porn, reading erotica can have beneficial effects not only on your mood and libido but, when utilized, on your relationships. It can reignite a boring sex life, spur imagination, and is a handy aid when it comes to masturbation (which is said to help elevate the release of happy hormones).

While erotic novels and smut stories are easier to read now than ever with the advent of e-readers and cheap ebooks, writing your own can take the enjoyment to the next level not only for you but for your partner.

The Power of Words

Erotica, smut, and erotic romance might not be considered academically in the same league as psychology texts or the many “great American novels” but it is not a genre without its notability. Marquis de Sade, the most infamous of erotic writers, spent 32 years in prison for his work and is known hundreds of years after his death for his libertine sexuality – certainly notable for what is often referred to as a lowly genre. This very reaction and depth can be harnessed by anyone with a pen and paper to use for their own sex life.

There is a unique power to words, especially words that give voice to the deep, dark, kinky thoughts that we might not share with the world at large. Opening up with your partner in this way can be the key to the satisfying sex life you crave. However, opening up those lines of communication to share your fantasies can sometimes be difficult. This is where the power of the written word in particular comes into play. Even if you don’t have epic writing talent, you can try your hand at describing your kinkiest dreams on paper for your partner to enjoy.

I first experienced the benefits of erotica to arouse my partner years ago when he asked me what I was reading one night. Instead of shying away at the idea that I was reading smut, I decided to read a passage aloud. This turned into an interesting bout of foreplay that we continue to enjoy to this day. The foreplay went up a notch when I began to write erotica and asked him to beta read it. I needed to know if what I was writing was sexy enough and created the emotional reaction I wanted. He decided to express his emotional reaction physically – a happy surprise for me.

Using erotica to arouse a partner is nothing new. Many erotica writers who have partners have also experienced this enjoyment. Ash, of Offbeat Home & Life, claims that writing naughty stories builds trust in their relationship with their husband, adds a bit of risk-taking, creates an upswing in libido, and stimulates the mind in all the best ways. Not only did it help them become a “more alert sexual partner” but also was an act of self-love and liberation “no partner required.”

Open Erotic Communication

Writing your fantasies down, giving them life on the page, can be excruciatingly liberating. Not only can you share your sexy dreams but you can take this moment to be really clear and honest with yourself. The majority of people don’t do a lot of self work, especially with our sex lives. When we do, it not only helps our mental and physical well-being but can also make us better lovers.

A great way to get started is to write a short fantasy you’ve always had. Put this in your private diary, journal, a scrap of paper, or a word processor screen. This never has to be shared with anyone – feel free to burn or delete after writing it out. The very act of writing it is all you need to start down the road. Do this a few times, to get comfortable with yourself, then consider sharing it with a partner.

You don’t have to put your name on your erotic work. Create fictional characters instead of basing them on you if it makes you more comfortable. Most professional erotica writers use pen names for anonymity. You can do the same if it will free your head enough to release what fantasies reside within.

Ask your partner if they would be interested in reading a piece of smut or erotic fantasy. You don’t have to claim its something deep or profound for you. Let them read it and see if they are aroused. Ask what parts they liked or what they’d like to add to it. This can create some steamy co-writing on or off the page.

Erotic Vulnerability

Whether you are writing a short scene to share only with a partner or you’re working on the next best selling erotic romance, the biggest thing that can really set fire to the page and your reader’s libido is vulnerability. Write what really turns you on! This will come through your words and effect the reader.

There is a risk to vulnerability but, as with any risk, there’s the possibility of a great reward. Sharing that vulnerability, that very aspect of your human experience, creates a deep intimacy between you and the reader. When the reader is your partner, it’s all the hotter because not only are you creating a physical reaction but an emotional, perhaps even soulful one as well.

Open communication and trying new things with your partner are both said to be the keys to a satisfying sex life. However, opening up those lines of communication to share your fantasies can sometimes be difficult. A fun way to explore our fantasies and share them with our partner(s) is to write a sexy story. Even if you don’t have epic writing talent, you can try your hand at describing your kinkiest dreams on paper for your partner to enjoy.